While it is possible to buy a pageant speech for only $20, I was concerned that there was no examples online of a concession speech, so I wrote one:
"Just moments ago, I spoke with my challenger Charline Charlemagne and congratulated her on becoming the 43rd Miss USA.I offered to meet with her as soon as possible so that we can start to heal the divisions of the pageant and the contest through which we just passed.Almost a century and a half ago, Senator Stephen Douglas told Abraham Lincoln, who had just defeated him for the presidency, "Partisan feeling must yield to patriotism. I'm with you, Mr. President, and God bless you."Well, in that same spirit, I say to Miss USA winner Charline Charlemagne that what remains of pageant rancor must now be put aside, and may God bless her stewardship of her title.Neither she nor I anticipated this long and difficult road. Certainly neither of us wanted it to happen. Yet it came, and now it has ended, resolved, as it must be resolved, through the honored institutions the Miss USA pageant judges.Thank you and good night, and God bless America."
(Adapted almost verbatim from another important concession speech.)
Background: I thought it would be great to say goodbye to short-term contract job I'm leaving where I barely know anyone to get everyone in a room and read from a real life beauty pageant concession speech. I thought it would be delightfully awkward and weird. That idea spawned this post.