Top 10 problems with my local coffee shop

1. Employees don't have the requisite facial jewelry required for real indie coffee shops
2. These great high ceilings still haven't made way for a indoor ferris wheel
3. "Satellite" radio doesn't mean all-Dave-Matthews-all-the-time
4. Female employees really just being friendly
5. Somehow we're in Texas and yet the food selection doesn't include ribs
6. No secret underground lair
7. Male employees not just being friendly
8. When you ask for a T-bag, you really just wanted tea
9. The customers? Nature should have weeded out all these losers long ago
10. "Extra shot" doesn't mean a .22 in the shoulder